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"Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will but she can."
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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine."

"She realizes she doesn't know as much as God but feels she knows as much as God knew when he was her age."

"Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night."

"It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day."
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