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"What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short, ' everything is fine. You say it, & it's a guarantee you'll come out ready for the military>"
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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"
"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."
"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."
"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"
"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"
"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
"Baz arched an elegant brow. "Are you going to snog the Humdrum-is that your plan? Because he's eleven. And he looks just like you. That's both vain and deviant, Snow, even for you."
Explore more quotes by Deb Caletti
"I shouldn't have to be a liar to make someone love me. I shouldn't be so afraid of losing someone that I'll do anything to make them stay."
"I was like a chocolate in a box, looking well behaved and perfect in place, all the while harboring a secret center."
"Sometimes you're sure dogs have some secret, superior intelligence, and other times you know they're only their simple, goofy selves."
"It was about the way a moment, a single moment, could change things and make you decide to try to be someone different."
"My most memorable teacher was Rich Campe, my third - grade teacher at Fairlands Elementary in Pleasanton, California."
"You have ordinary moments and ordinary moments and more ordinary moments, and then, suddenly, there is something monumental right there. You have the past and future colliding in the present, your own personal Big Bang, and nothing will ever be the same."
"If letting go, if letting people and things work themselves out in the way that they needed to without your help was the most important thing, then it was also the hardest."
"Our memories and events in our lives are untidy things. We wish that we can file them away and shut the door, or wish the opposite - that they would stay forever."
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