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"What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short, ' everything is fine. You say it, & it's a guarantee you'll come out ready for the military>"
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"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
Explore more quotes by Deb Caletti

"Those questions you have? Whether he's the one, whether you feel about him the way you should, or whether the relationship is going okay? When you're not sure whether you're in love with someone or not, the answer is not."

"It was more work than it seemed, looking through a telescope, as the Earth was continually moving and you had to move along with it. You don't realize how fast this acutally happens, and it's kind of both creepy and wonderful when you stop to think about it. And it makes you realize there's absolutely no way to avoid change. You can sit there and cross your arms and refuse it, but underneath you, things are still spinning away."

"It's good to let God pick a man for you. We don't do so well when we pick them ourselves. They end up lipsticks in a drawer, all those wrong colors you thought looked so good in the package."

"I don't get why prom is like a mini - wedding these days...No one should spend that kind of money for a high school dance."

"Fate's got a fucking sick sense of humor. Fate is a shape - shifter. It's the kindest and most generous entity imaginable, laying out more goodness than a person deserves, and then it shrinks and curls and forms into something grotesque. You think its one thing, but then its another."

"I guess forgiveness, like happiness, isn't a final destination. You don't one day get there and get to stay."
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