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"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
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"I have 20,000 girlfriends, all around the world."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you don't have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don't go looking for someone. When it's right, they'll come to you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When we meet, I'm interested and I'm curious about what he's doing because he's burning a number from a client. And I'm like, 'Who is this?' and my girlfriend's like, 'That's a drug dealer. Stay away from him.'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like being scared every now and then, I like the suspense and the thrills. Nothing like taking a girlfriend to a movie and holding her hand while she jumps."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed."
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Personal Development
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""
Author Name
Personal Development
"Directors are never in short supply of girlfriends."
Author Name
Personal Development
"On-screen relationships are the best because you don't have to worry about saying the wrong things. And if the guy's got a girlfriend, or I'm not attracted to him, it's even better. It's just my character kissing his character."
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Personal Development
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"People read me but they don't subscribe."
People
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
Information
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Cause
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
Identity
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
Country
"They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults."
Thought
"A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
Opportunity
"Did you know that today will never be tomorrow."
Today
"Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
Today
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
Girlfriend
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