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"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
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"In the morning, when he entered my room, I grumbled, but he was like the sunlight to me, all the same. One cannot defend oneself against those brats. They take hold of you, they hold you fast, they never let you go again. The truth is, that there never was a cupid like that child."

"You know you are in pure love when you see only the beauty inside you and all around you."

"Falling in love is very easy, but staying in love is very difficult."

"The mind judges in order to love. The heart just loves unconditionally."

"It did not look like the work of God, but it might have represented the handicraft of a God with a joyous sense of humor, a dancing God who loved mischief as much as prayer, and playfulness as much as mischief."
Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner


"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."


"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."


"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."


"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."


"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."


"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
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