"I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything."

"I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things."

"I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have."

"You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious."