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"I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything."
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"We are what we think."
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Personal Development

"Think of what you desire out of life."
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Personal Development

"Who I am? Am I thinking?"
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Personal Development

"While I do not suggest that humanity will ever be able to dispense with its martyrs, I cannot avoid the suspicion that with a little more thought and a little less belief their number may be substantially reduced."
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Personal Development

"Most people don't think most of the time. They just use other people's thoughts as a crutch to get by."
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Personal Development

"The profoundest thoughts of the philosophers have something trickle about them. A lot disappears in order for something to suddenly appear in the palm of the hand."
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Personal Development

"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right."
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Personal Development

"It is too ordinary for us to think we are too ordinary. It is too unwise for us to think we are too wise. It is too sinful for us to think we are too sinful beyond pardon. It would be too unrighteous for us to think we are too righteous. There is always something we may think about, but let us think about something!"
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Personal Development

"But I owe it to the subject to say, that it has long afforded me what philosophy is so often thought, and made, barren of - the fun of discovery, the pleasures of co-operation, and the satisfaction of reaching agreement."
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Personal Development

"I've often reflected on this in the past weeks as I've been following the presidential campaign: Very often, I thought it would have been great for both of these guys to sit down and be force-fed a couple of dozen episodes of Star Trek."
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"I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have."
Beer

"I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything."
Thought

"You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious."
Right

"I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things."
Being
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