"When coming to making kids: Size doesn't count, it's sperm count that counts."

"A paedophile is someone whose sexual attraction towards children their own age did not grow with them."

"Men marry for the womb. Women marry for their tummy."

"An arrogant man whose arrogance we see from his own behaviour is more tolerable than a humble man whose humility we hear of from his own mouth."

"In a materialistic society, there's no such a thing as a 'romantic' broke man."

"Mr. Right' is usually two or eight men."

"When a dreamer loses his lover, his dream profits. (Unless, of course, the lover was the dreamer's dream.)"

"Reading leads to knowing more. Knowing more leads to arrogance. Reading further leads to humbleness."

"For the duration of his erection: To a horny man, all women are the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that."

"Most self-employed people remain slaves to the employed's working hours."

"Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him."

"A model is an actor without a voice."

"When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not to prove or disprove innocence; unbeknown to almost all lawyers and their clients, it is to save the court time."

"Whenever they are given the choice, some people choose a bath over a shower; they, too, would like to do their bit to waste water."

"Looks sure can be deceiving: not every 'ugly' person is a 'bad' person (or is guilty of whatever it is that they are accused of)."

"Being called 'love' or 'my love' by someone doesn't necessarily mean that you are loved or even liked by them."

"Life entertains humble men by giving men with below average looks (intellect, knowledge, etc.) an above average self-esteem."

"We are, or rather our natural desire to evade pain and to attain pleasure is, the primary reason we do or say every single thing we do or say."

"Immediately after a divorce or a breakup, your mind whispers that there are plenty more fish in the sea, while your heart shouts that there is only one whoever-you-just-divorced-or-broke-up-with."

"Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal."

"In a materialistic society, an employed boy is older than an unemployed man."

"Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with disabilities."

"Saying that someone is full of themselves is silly. Who else can one be full of - except self?"

"Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them."

"Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh."

"Dating a wo/man with a child is adoption - without the paperwork."

"Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love."

"Some people wouldn't still be sane, if they were not religious or superstitious; some wouldn't be disabled or dead."

"Sleeping is the most common attempt to temporarily escape reality."

"An employee is sheep. His employer is the shepherd. His salary is grass."

"Once a woman goes over 25, she prioritizes 'financial security' in a potential lover. Love and good looks are just a bonus."

"Peanut butter is a poor man's marmalade."

"There's no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far."

"Some people are so boring that you are more bored when you are with them - than when you are alone."

"A son is an unfulfilled man's last attempt to fulfill his unfulfilled dreams."

"We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old."

"Old Age homes are civilization's dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further."

"12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams."

"For breakfast to be called 'in bed' instead of 'on top of a bed,' the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom."

"Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them."

"Death devours not only those who have been cooked by old age, it also feasts on those who are half-cooked and even those who are raw."

"Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids."

"Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex."

"We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough."

"In any sane society, a farmer is a billion times more important than an economist."

"A civilized woman's demands: A man who will (1) make her come - sometimes, but (2) pay the bills - at all times."

"The streets are a poor kid's PlayStation."

"Security is a double-edged sword: While a fence sure protects the fenced, it also imprisons the protected."

"When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog."