"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married."

"The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one."

"Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it."

"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato."

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'"