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"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
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"There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass."
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"I am not handsome, but when women hear me play, they come crawling to my feet."
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"It's a complicated set of opinions that women bring to the voting booth."
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"I think a woman gets more if she acts feminine."
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"After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi."
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"There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner."
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"Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company."
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"The women I killed were filth - bastard prostitutes who were littering the streets. I was just cleaning up the place a bit."
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"Women were freed from positive duties when they could not perform them, but not when they could."
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Explore more quotes by Lewis Grizzard
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato."
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"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
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"I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married."
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"The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one."
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"Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it."
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"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
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"You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'"
Attitude
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