"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."

"We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth."

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything."

"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."

"Property is organized robbery."

"Independence? That's middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth."

"Every person who has mastered a profession is a skeptic concerning it."

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

"A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself."

"Political necessities sometime turn out to be political mistakes."

"One man who has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

"Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance."

"All professions are a conspiracy against the country."

"Doing what needs to be done may not make you happy, but it will make you great."

"The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business."

"HOSTESS. Oh, nonsense! She speaks English perfectly.NEPOMMUCK. Too perfectly. Can you shew me any English woman who speaks English as it should be spoken? Only foreigners who have been taught to speak it speak it well."

"You are going to let the fear of poverty govern you life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live."

"Peace is not only better than war but infinitely more arduous."

"Dying is a troublesome business: there is pain to be suffered, and it wrings one's heart; but death is a splendid thing-a warfare accomplished, a beginning all over again, a triumph. You can always see that in their faces."

"If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn't be anything for us to do."

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality of happiness, and by no means a necessity of life."

"The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post."

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."

"You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard but by attacking and getting well-hammered yourself."

"A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out."

"My religious convictions and scientific views cannot at present be more specifically defined than as those of a believer in creative evolution. I desire that no public monument or work of art or inscription or sermon or ritual service commemorating me shall suggest that I accepted the tenets peculiar to any established church or denomination nor take the form of a cross or any other instrument of torture or symbol of blood sacrifice."

"He is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

"No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious."

"Well, what do they all amount to, these kings and captains and bishops and lawyers and such like? They just leave you in the ditch to bleed to death; and the next thing is, you meet them down there, for all the airs they give themselves."

"Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius."

"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."

"He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

"Clever and attractive women do not want to vote they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men."

"Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food."

"You have learnt something. That always feels at first as if you have lost something."

"The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else."

"Imitation is not just the sincerest form of flattery - it's the sincerest form of learning."

"This is true joy of life-being used for a purpose that is recognized by yourself as a mighty one ... instead of being a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

"Martyrdom - the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."

"An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable."

"The reason why the continental European is, to the Englishman or American, so surprisingly ignorant of the Bible, is that the authorized English version is a great work of literary art, and the continental versions are comparatively artless."

"What man really wishes to do he will find a means of doing."

"When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity."

"The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood."

"Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

"My dear: in this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it."

"In heaven an angel is nobody in particular."

"If an imaginative boy has a sufficiently rich mother who has intelligence, personal grace, dignity of character without harshness, and a cultivated sense of the best art of her time to enable her to make her house beautiful, she sets a standard for him against which very few women can struggle, besides effecting for him a disengagement of his affections, his sense of beauty, and his idealism from his specifically sexual impulses."