"I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."

"So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'."

"Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?"

"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."