"If you're not able to laugh inside a sex shop,then you probably shouldn't be there.I mean, they don't call it fooling around for nothing."

Humor, Life, Sexuality, Truth

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"If you're not able to laugh inside a sex shop,then you probably shouldn't be there.I mean, they don't call it fooling around for nothing."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

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"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

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"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

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"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

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"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

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Explore more quotes by David Levithan

"You'd think that silence would be peaceful. but really, it's painful."

Emotion

"I tried to shut myself down completely, put up my best screensaver personality to coast through the day. I didn't want to see her. I was desperate to see her. I wanted to hold it together. I wanted to melt down right at her feet and scream, Look what you've done to me."

Emotion

"LYNDA (TO TINY):Look forward to the momentwhen it falls apart.Look forward to themomentwhen you mustrearrange yourheart.It might feel like theend of the world-but it's the beginning of yourart."

Emotion

"I am jealous of anyone who can make other people care so much."

Emotion

"You can find sorrow in the arithmetic, and you can find a bittersweet hope."

Emotion

"That's what it felt like - that if I let a little of the hurt out, it would keep pouring out until I was a deflated balloon of a person, with a big monster of hurt in front of me."

Emotion

"O Lord, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of doubt, at least let mewear a Walkman..."

Spiritual

"I didn't want to see her. I was desperate to see her. I wanted to hold it together. I wanted to melt down right at her feet and scream, Look what you've done to me."

Emotion

"In my kind of falling, there's no landing. There's only hitting the ground. Hard. Dead, or wanting to be dead. So the whole time you're falling, it's the worst feeling in the world. Because you feel you have no control over it. Because you know how it ends."

Emotion

"An unarticulated crush is very different from an unrequited one, because at least with an unrequited crush you know what the hell you're doing, even if the other person isn't doing it back. An unarticulated crush is harder to grapple with, because it's a crush that you haven't even admitted to yourself. The romantic forces are all there -- you want to see him, you always notice him, you treat every word from him as if it weighs more than anyone else's. But you don't know why. You don't know that you're doing it. You'd follow him to the end of the earth without ever admitting that your feet were moving."

Emotion