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"It's so crazy in Hollywood."
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"In Hollywood today, it's cool for guys to wear nail polish and earrings in their lips and tongues. I don't get it."
"It seems the farther away we are from Hollywood, the better the ratings."
"After I got to Hollywood, I resented that I didn't get a crack at more dramatic roles because I photographed so beautifully."
"Hollywood is loneliness beside the swimming pool."
"If Washington is a two-party town, why can't Hollywood be one too?"
"Everybody in Hollywood was in Around the World in 80 Days. If you weren't, you left town and made up an excuse."
"How could a New Yorker possibly take something called the Hollywood String Quartet seriously?"
"The criteria, for me, is movie star. It's Hollywood. Not Somalia."
Explore more quotes by David Spade
"Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'"
"In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends."
"It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it."
"You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun."
"I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those."
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