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"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."
Computer
"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."
Fun
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."
Sports
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
Cause
"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."
Saying
"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"
Ability
"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."
Time
"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
Invention
"A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy."
People
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
Love
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"Football said,"Why I am not a cricket ball to get a shot from Sachin"."
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Personal Development
"Cricket must be proud, "I played by Sachin Tendulkar"."
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Personal Development
"I am sure our athletes will win hearts of the world and will show the world what India is all about."
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Personal Development
"This time we are sending the contingent in advance, so that players are familiar with local conditions. Earlier they got only few days."
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Personal Development
"Sachin is passionate for cricket and fame is passionate for Sachin."
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Personal Development
"The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green."
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Personal Development
"Century was an occasional thing in cricket, Sachin made it frequent."
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Personal Development
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."
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Personal Development
"Football has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting."
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Personal Development
"A Stander-by is often a better judge of the game than those that play."
Author Name
Personal Development
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