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"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
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"A true friend is like an umbrella that opens her heart to protect you on those rainy days."
Author Name
Personal Development
"True friendship is a house where we can take off our masks."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You be careful, Wizard. Interestingly eccentric friends aren't easy to find."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well here we are, just the four of us that started out together,' said Merry. 'We have left all the rest behind, one after another. It seems almost like a dream that has slowly faded.''Not to me,' said Frodo. 'To me it feels more like falling asleep again."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A true friend is a reflection of yourself."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Good fences make good neighbors, and these were apparently good enough that they had not felt the need for razor wire at the top. I crested the fence, threw myself into the yard beyond, fell, rolled to my feet, and ran with the expectation of being garroted by a taut clothesline.I heard panting, looked down, and saw a gold retriever running at my side, ears flapping. The dog glanced up at me tongue rolling, grinning, as though jazzed by the prospect of an unscheduled play session."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Friendship is but another name for an alliance with the follies and the misfortunes of others. Our own share of miseries is sufficient: why enter then as volunteers into those of another?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I to myself am dearer than a friend."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One friend in a storm is worth more than a thousand friends in sunshine."
Author Name
Personal Development
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