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"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
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"True friendship is a house where we can take off our masks."
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Personal Development
"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
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Personal Development
"A true friend is a reflection of yourself."
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Personal Development
"Good fences make good neighbors, and these were apparently good enough that they had not felt the need for razor wire at the top. I crested the fence, threw myself into the yard beyond, fell, rolled to my feet, and ran with the expectation of being garroted by a taut clothesline.I heard panting, looked down, and saw a gold retriever running at my side, ears flapping. The dog glanced up at me tongue rolling, grinning, as though jazzed by the prospect of an unscheduled play session."
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Personal Development
"I to myself am dearer than a friend."
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Personal Development
"One friend in a storm is worth more than a thousand friends in sunshine."
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Personal Development
"A friend is someone who will always be there for you, in good and hard times."
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Personal Development
"Maybe Lindsay and I are best friends and we hate each other, both. Maybe I'm only one math class away from being a slut like Anna Cartullo. Maybe I am like her, deep down. Maybe we all are: just one lunch period away from eating alone in the bathroom. I wonder if it's ever really possible to know the truth about someone else, or if the best we can do is just stumble into each other, heads down, hoping to avoid collision."
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Personal Development
"Don't appreciate me, I'm not up to it. Don't criticize me, I don't deserve it. Just be my friend and forgive me, because I am craving for it."
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Personal Development
"If you fulfill God's will, then God will always be your friend."
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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
Dress
"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."
England
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Night
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
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