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Exlpore more Marriage quotes
"I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them."
"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
"I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after Ihad children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state."
"Treat marriage like a diamond necklace; if broken, fix it, but do not throw it away."
"You contribute much to your marriage by the wise, thrifty, diligent management and oversight of your part of the household budget."
"Never marry when under the guise you need to 'see if it'll work', but rather marry because in your mind you want to make it work."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."
"New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick."
"New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween, the president of the American Family Association urged his flock to hand out a Christian-based comic book instead of candy. Excuse me, Halloween isn't a time to push your beliefs. You don't see me handing out pot to kids...Okay, well not the little kids."
"New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It's not their field. It's like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here's what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here's what they don't know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I'd join the Tea Party."
"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
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