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Matshona Dhliwayo

"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."

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"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."

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"The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles."

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"Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."

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"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

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"She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner."

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"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."

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"If it works, it will be plenty dramatic. And I suppose that if it doesn't work, it will be even more dramatic, what with the blast.""David, I think you just made a joke."He frowned, utterly perplexed. "Did I?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."

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"And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment? "Of course I am, Lightsong said. "My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to substantiate it? "Of course not, she agreed. "You are nothing if not exhaustive in your self-congratulatory made-up logic. "I am rather exceptional in that regard."

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Asa Don Brown

"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."

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Asa Don Brown

"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."

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"When excellence comes in at the door, failure flies out the window."
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"Say no to failure, say yes to success."
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"Great deeds begin in the mind, extraordinary deeds begin in the heart, and remarkable deeds begin in the soul."
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"Breaking through the glass ceiling is only possible if you are stronger than glass."
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"Love is the weapon of the wise."
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"An ounce of wisdom can prevent a pound of folly."
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"It is not the fault of the stars that they shine brightly, but the fault of our eyes that they cannot handle light."
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"Look for something good in each person, even if for some people you have to look a little harder."
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"In serving the poor, one serves humanity. In serving mankind, one serves equity. In serving goodness, one serves God. In serving the Creator, one serves himself."
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"Money makes the world go round, but love makes the universe go in every direction."
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