"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses."

Day,

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"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses."

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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Day,

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Day, Newspapers

"At the close of the day when the hamlet is still, and mortals the sweets of forgetfulness prove, when naught but the torrent is heard on the hill, and naught but the nightingale's song in the grove."

James Beattie, British Poet

Day, Forgetfulness, Song

"I know a doctor who can give you a shot and you'll get over that cold you've got and get better in a day."

Mel Allen, American Celebrity

Day,

"Better one's House be too little one day than too big all the Year after."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Day,

"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Day, Key, Night

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Day,

"The real intimidating stuff is the scene where you show up for the first day. You kind of square off, and that is where you look each other in the eye."

Ron Livingston, American Actor

Day, Eye, First

"I've got ten pairs of trainers. That's one for every day of the week."

Samantha Fox, English Model

Day,

"I would be very happy to see 3.5 billion humans wiped out from the face of the earth within the next 150 or 200 years and I am quite prepared to go myself with this majority... let us all look forward to the day when the catastrophe strikes us down!"

John Aspinall, English Celebrity

Day, Earth, Majority, Years

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"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on."

Feet

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."

Distrust

"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves."

Money

"Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people."

Time

"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."

Man

"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money."

Money

"We can afford almost any mistake once."

Mistake

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Exlpore more Day quotes

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

"At the close of the day when the hamlet is still, and mortals the sweets of forgetfulness prove, when naught but the torrent is heard on the hill, and naught but the nightingale's song in the grove."

"I know a doctor who can give you a shot and you'll get over that cold you've got and get better in a day."

"Better one's House be too little one day than too big all the Year after."

"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."

"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

"The real intimidating stuff is the scene where you show up for the first day. You kind of square off, and that is where you look each other in the eye."

"I've got ten pairs of trainers. That's one for every day of the week."

"I would be very happy to see 3.5 billion humans wiped out from the face of the earth within the next 150 or 200 years and I am quite prepared to go myself with this majority... let us all look forward to the day when the catastrophe strikes us down!"

Explore more quotes by Joe E. Lewis

"It pays to get drunk with the best people."

"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty."

"Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum."

"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on."

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."

"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves."

"Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people."

"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."

"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money."

"We can afford almost any mistake once."