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"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
Life
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
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"Love nature as if it is your own garden of love."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nourish yourself with the water of love to grow flowers of happiness in the garden of your heart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Live is not about constantly fighting to keep someone in your life. It is about constantly fighting for a better life together."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Love has power in it; it can melt any heart, if your love is true and divine."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you truly love someone, you want to please and honor them by the way you act. How you treat someone shows whether or not you really care about them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Be brave. Be kind. Be simple. Above all, be crazy with love."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The human race should learn from dogs about the enormous power of love."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Love is the ultimate power. Never forget to use it to win over your enemies."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Be the God or goddess of love and love everyone."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Love is a spiritual soul."
Author Name
Personal Development
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