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Mark Russell

"Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it."

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"Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it."

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Akiroq Brost

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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"Cheap booze is a false economy."

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"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

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Akiroq Brost

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

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"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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Akiroq Brost

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

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Akiroq Brost

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

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Mark Russell
"People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television."
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"You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble."
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"Rush has done some top-notch quality work, and we're very, very pleased with them. We really enjoy working with them. They are on time and on budget, which makes me happy."
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"I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny."
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Mark Russell
"The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it."
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Mark Russell
"We're just moving along as quick as possible."
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Mark Russell
"You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!"
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Mark Russell
"The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is."
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Mark Russell
"I'll keep doing it until I die or the audiences die."
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Mark Russell
"I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person."
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