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"In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho."
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"Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones! May the holiday season bring peace to your heart, warmth to your home, and joy to your soul."
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Personal Development
"Sending you warm wishes for a Merry Christmas! May this season be full of love, light, and beautiful memories that will last a lifetime."
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Personal Development
"Merry Christmas! May your home be filled with the laughter of family, the joy of togetherness, and the love that Christmas brings."
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Personal Development
"This Christmas, I wish you love that knows no bounds, peace that knows no end, and joy that fills every corner of your heart."
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Personal Development
"But Tammy Faye calls me, and Ron Jeremy calls me, Erik Estrada sends me a Christmas card every year."
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Personal Development
"Merry Christmas! May this season of giving and love bring you closer to your dreams and create new memories filled with joy and happiness!"
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Personal Development
"I'm so depressed. Christmas is the worst of all. Holidays are terrible, worse than Sundays. I get melancholia."
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Personal Development
"Merry Christmas to you and your family! May the joy of the season bring peace and happiness to your heart and home."
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Personal Development
"I intend to keep writing Christmas songs. There's still a lot more about Christmas that can be captured and feel like old-time Christmas. A lot of the traditions haven't been explained in song."
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Personal Development
"Christmas, so joyfully celebrated within our hearts and within the hearts of countless others."
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"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."
Masculinity
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."
Critique
"Don't be so hard on yourself, You're doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that Mom ever was - The one you wanted, the one she was when you needed her and she was there, the one she was when she didn't understand. Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. When someone dies, they all integrate into the soul - the essence of who we are, beyond the different faces we wear throughout our lives. You're just hating the selves you've always hated, and loving the ones you've always loved. It's bound to mess you up."
Integration
"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"
Connection
"Routine feeds the illusion of safety..."
Routine
"The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis."
Myth
"She can be a whirlwind of tits and terror when she puts her mind to a purpose, can't she, sir?"
Exaggeration
"That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.''Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?"
Technology
"He was a writer and words were his weapons."
Art
"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."
Insecurity
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