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P. G. Wodehouse

"Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."

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"Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Amber Hurdle

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

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Amber Hurdle

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

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Amber Hurdle

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

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Amber Hurdle

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

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Amber Hurdle

"O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

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Amber Hurdle

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

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Amber Hurdle

"I just don't- Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music."

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"Flowers are happy things."
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"Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse."
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"Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman."
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"She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when.""
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"Excuse me, I must go and putt."
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"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
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"There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met."
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"Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag."
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"He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."
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"If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine."
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