"Humor is reason gone mad."

Humor, Reason

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"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

Sara Sheridan, Scottish Author

Humor, Writing, Family, Books

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

Shannon A. Thompson, American Author

Humor, Perception, Confusion, Identity, Awareness

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Anger, Truth, Expression

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

Explore more quotes by Groucho Marx

"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."

Play

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

Art

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

Mother

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Explore more quotes by Groucho Marx

"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."

"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."

"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."

"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."

"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."