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"Make the doors upon a woman's wit,and it will out at the casement;shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole;stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney."
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"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."
"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."
"And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment? "Of course I am, Lightsong said. "My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to substantiate it? "Of course not, she agreed. "You are nothing if not exhaustive in your self-congratulatory made-up logic. "I am rather exceptional in that regard."
"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"
"Oh, I can't help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true."
"What is perfectly true is perfectly witty."
"I am often the brunt of my own humor."
Explore more quotes by William Shakespeare
"Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love."
"Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:Then, heigh-ho, the holly!This life is most jolly."
"If [God] send me no husband, for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening ..."
"Not a whit, we defy augury: there's a specialprovidence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now,'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will benow; if it be not now, yet it will come: thereadiness is all."
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