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Andy Rooney

"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."

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"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."

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"Now how many people in their heart of hearts in that community want to see the demise of this country? How many would cheer, not out loud maybe, but in their heart when things like 9/11 occur and I'll tell you; it's a majority among them."

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"You've got people who are looking at DNA evidence and other evidence like that and they're ignoring it."

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"Telling people they look relaxed makes them look relaxed."

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"Well, first, the situation in Afghanistan is much better than it was. But there is no comparison between Afghanistan and Iraq. Iraq has a bureaucracy, Iraq has wealth. Iraq has an educated class of people who are positioned to come in and take over."

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"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
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"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."
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"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."
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"Elephants and grandchildren never forget."
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"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
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"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
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"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
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"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."
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"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."
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"All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law."
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