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"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."
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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."
"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."
"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney
"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."
"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."
"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."
"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."
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