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"I think I give the impression of being a romantic, and I think inside I'm quite severe. But some might say they had the opposite impression of me."
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"I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy."

"Confidence, is like a belt worn around the waist. Wear it too tight, you come off cocky and arrogant, wear it too loose, you come off timid and a walk over, but wear it fit and snug, it will uphold you in every step of the way."

"I always knew he was selfish and self-indulgent and kind of lazy, those are practically prerequisites for playing lead guitar."

"I'm genetically programmed to be a terrible person."

"How can a man's candour be seen in all its lustre unless he has a few failings to talk of? But he had an agreeable confidence that his faults were all of a generous kind-impetuous, arm-blooded, leonine; never crawling, crafty, reptilian."

"Don't ignore me. I only get more annoying."

"Now I feel like James Bond. Suave and intelligent, breaking all the codes while looking fabulous."

"Only a mediocre person is always at his best."
Explore more quotes by Tom Stoppard

"It is not hard to understand modern art. If it hangs on a wall it's a painting, and if you can walk around it it's a sculpture."

"Carnal embrace is sexual congress, which is the insertion of the male genital organ into the female genital organ for purposes of procreation and pleasure. Fermat's last theorem, by contrast, asserts that when x, y and z are whole numbers each raised to power of n, the sum of the first two can never equal the third when n is greater than 2."

"He's never known anything like it! But then, he has never known anything to write home about, so this is nothing to write home about."

"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music and of aviation."

"We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."
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