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"Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice."
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"A full fridge is like an empty one: What am I going to eat?"
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Personal Development
"So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it."
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Personal Development
"If music be the food of love, play on."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing makes me happy quite like a boatload of freshly fried fast food, smothered in good old MSG."
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Personal Development
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
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Personal Development
"Revenge is barren of itself: it is the dreadful food it feeds on; its delight is murder, and its end is despair."
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Personal Development
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex."
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Personal Development
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."
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Personal Development
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"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
Autobiography
"No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there."
Food
"Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand."
Name
"A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them."
Fame
"I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R."
Kids
"I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men."
Men
"I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great."
Celebrity
"I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown."
Love
"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."
Act
"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."
Friendship
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