"Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains."

Humor, Intelligence, Observation, Social

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"Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Action, Life, Absurdity

Explore more quotes by Katie McGarry

"Yesterday Allison bought me nail polish in the annoying shade of mauve. How can anyone look at me and think mauve?"

Humor

"We were nothing more than actions to reactions - helpless against our own fate. It's true. I react and others pay."

Philosophy

"It's like I have this large black hole in my brain and it's sucking the life out of me. The answers are in there so I sit for hours and stare. No matter how hard and long I look, I only see darkness."

Self

"Anyone who ever makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, Breanna, you tell one of us. You're with Razor, which means you're family."

Family

"I'm right and wrong, moral and immoral, good and bad, a hero and a villain, and I've been just as capable of truth as I have been lies."

Reflection

"I don't lose. Do you hear me? I don't lose and that includes losing you. I'm done being kept in the dark. Im done feeling like you're slipping right past me. You are not saying goodbye to me. I'm in love with you and you love me back. You are staying."

Relationship

"Do you think we can just take it on faith right now that I want you, you want me, and we'll figure out the happy ending part later?"

Romance

"I'm cold and clammy and hot at the same time, yet I'm free. I lift my head and the autumn breeze feels good against my skin. Free. I'm officially outside the box. I'm free. Free is terrifying and open and it's similar to being a bit lost-but it still feels...free."

Life

"Isaiah grabs my hand and leads me away from the police...My heart stutters. He's holding my hand. A guy is holding my hand. Touching it. Like his fingers entwined with mine. I've never held a guy's hand before and it feels good. So good. Warm. Strong. Awesome. And it would only be a million times better if the guy holding my hand liked me."

Love

"Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains."

Humor

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Explore more quotes by Katie McGarry

"Yesterday Allison bought me nail polish in the annoying shade of mauve. How can anyone look at me and think mauve?"

"We were nothing more than actions to reactions - helpless against our own fate. It's true. I react and others pay."

"It's like I have this large black hole in my brain and it's sucking the life out of me. The answers are in there so I sit for hours and stare. No matter how hard and long I look, I only see darkness."

"Anyone who ever makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, Breanna, you tell one of us. You're with Razor, which means you're family."

"I'm right and wrong, moral and immoral, good and bad, a hero and a villain, and I've been just as capable of truth as I have been lies."

"I don't lose. Do you hear me? I don't lose and that includes losing you. I'm done being kept in the dark. Im done feeling like you're slipping right past me. You are not saying goodbye to me. I'm in love with you and you love me back. You are staying."

"Do you think we can just take it on faith right now that I want you, you want me, and we'll figure out the happy ending part later?"

"I'm cold and clammy and hot at the same time, yet I'm free. I lift my head and the autumn breeze feels good against my skin. Free. I'm officially outside the box. I'm free. Free is terrifying and open and it's similar to being a bit lost-but it still feels...free."

"Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains."