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George Burns

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

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"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

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"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."

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Amber Hurdle

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Amber Hurdle

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

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Amber Hurdle

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

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Amber Hurdle

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think the moral majority and religious right have been shrinking and having not quite as loud a voice in America, and all of a sudden people are coming to their own realizations going, 'Joe down the street is gay and he's a great guy.'"

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George Burns
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
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"Be quick to learn and wise to know."
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George Burns
"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."
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George Burns
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
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George Burns
"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle."
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George Burns
"How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days."
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George Burns
"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."
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George Burns
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
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George Burns
"I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money."
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George Burns
"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."
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