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"Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up."
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"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

"The value of time is immeasurable."

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

"Here is one fact 1 minute to finish the class, 1 day to die, one day behind that fact, one day in that fact, one day before my birthday will come, one day before I will finish... (So far one day is popular... that's a fact called itself zipf law... )...Call it how you want, but for my it's zipfy law!"
Explore more quotes by George Burns

"It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
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