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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
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"When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph."

"Whoever won't fight when the President calls him, deserves to be kicked back in his hole and kept there."

"Writers and politicians are natural rivals. Both groups try to make the world in their own images; they fight for the same territory."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."

"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."

"With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!"

"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
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