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"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."
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"We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God's."
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Personal Development
"I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding."
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Personal Development
"Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God."
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Personal Development
"Our passionate preoccupation with the sky, the stars, and a God somewhere in outer space is a homing impulse. We are drawn back to where we came from."
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Personal Development
"If the grace of God miraculously operates, it probably operates through the subliminal door."
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Personal Development
"I'm an atheist and I thank God for it."
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Personal Development
"All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of God as a senile delinquent."
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Personal Development
"Man has, as it were, become a kind of prosthetic God. When he puts on all his auxiliary organs, he is truly magnificent; but those organs have not grown on him and they still give him much trouble at times."
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Personal Development
"God appoints our graces to be nurses to other men's weaknesses."
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Personal Development
"Novels tend to end as the Paternoster begins: with the kingdom of God on earth."
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Personal Development
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"There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do."
Time
"If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life."
Life
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
Life
"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."
Life
"Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it's less wasteful."
Ethics
"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze 'em?"
Curiosity
"When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win!Conversations aren't contests!Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead."
Communication
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."
Strategy
"Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess."
Society
"CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien."
Fiction
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