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"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."
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"The confidence in another man's virtue is no light evidence of a man's own, and God willingly favors such a confidence."

"Reagan was all about America, and you talked about it. Obama is, 'We are above that now. We're not just parochial, we're not just chauvinistic, we're not just provincial. We stand for something.' I mean, in a way, Obama's standing above the country, above - above the world. He's sort of God. He's going to bring all different sides together."

"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."

"God is not an Almighty Being watching over life on earth. God is the Event Horizon of Human Consciousness."
Explore more quotes by Bill Watterson

"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
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