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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

"Extolling the virtues of conservation of energy, Churchill advised, "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
Explore more quotes by Evelyn Waugh

"News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read. And it's only news until he's read it. After that it's dead."

"Pray always for all the learned, the oblique, the delicate. Let them not be quite forgotten at the throne of God when the simple come into their kingdom."

"Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course of duty that they get an unhealthy craving for arresting phrases."

"Art is the symbol of the two noblest human efforts: to construct and to refrain from destruction."

"The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up."

"Money is only useful when you get rid of it. It is like the odd card in "Old Maid"; the player who is finally left with it has lost."
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