"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

Humor, Day, Pleasure

36

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Evelyn Waugh

"There is a species of person called a 'Modern Churchman' who draws the full salary of a beneficed clergyman and need not commit himself to any religious belief."

Trust

"My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally."

Family

"Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth."

Action

"The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up."

Truth

"When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them."

Limitation

"Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything."

Manners

"We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them."

Friendship

"What is youth except a man or woman before it is ready or fit to be seen?"

Man

"Not everyone grows to be old, but everyone has been younger than he is now."

Now

"It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste."

Paradise