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Evelyn Waugh

"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

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"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

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Amber Hurdle

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

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Amber Hurdle

"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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Amber Hurdle

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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Amber Hurdle

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

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Amber Hurdle

"Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all."

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Amber Hurdle

"Extolling the virtues of conservation of energy, Churchill advised, "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

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Evelyn Waugh
"News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read. And it's only news until he's read it. After that it's dead."
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"Pray always for all the learned, the oblique, the delicate. Let them not be quite forgotten at the throne of God when the simple come into their kingdom."
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"Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course of duty that they get an unhealthy craving for arresting phrases."
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Evelyn Waugh
"We schoolmasters must temper discretion with deceit."
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Evelyn Waugh
"Art is the symbol of the two noblest human efforts: to construct and to refrain from destruction."
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Evelyn Waugh
"Almost all crime is due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression."
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Evelyn Waugh
"The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up."
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Evelyn Waugh
"Other nations use 'force'; we Britons alone use 'Might'."
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Evelyn Waugh
"In the dying world I come from, quotation is a national vice."
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Evelyn Waugh
"Money is only useful when you get rid of it. It is like the odd card in "Old Maid"; the player who is finally left with it has lost."
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