"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

Humor, Day, Pleasure

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"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

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"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

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"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

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Explore more quotes by Evelyn Waugh

"All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day."

Humor

"Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for father and son."

Family

"Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything."

Manners

"My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally."

Family

"There is a species of person called a 'Modern Churchman' who draws the full salary of a beneficed clergyman and need not commit himself to any religious belief."

Trust

"One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die."

Language

"Almost all crime is due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression."

Crime

"Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course of duty that they get an unhealthy craving for arresting phrases."

Books

"We class schools into four grades: leading school, first-rate school, good school and school."

Education

"Other nations use 'force'; we Britons alone use 'Might'."

Nation