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"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
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"I don't ever want to believe my own press clippings, good or bad."
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Personal Development
"Bonfire of the Vanities: The lesson of that book is, never start believing your own press."
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Personal Development
"Most of the press is sent to my publicist so I do see most of what is written about me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"TV is bigger than any story it reports. It's the greatest teaching tool since the printing press."
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Personal Development
"We were the victims of the new producer but what annoyed me was they told the press we were leaving before us."
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Personal Development
"I take a grave view of the press. It is the weak slat under the bed of democracy."
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Personal Development
"The press is our chief ideological weapon."
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Personal Development
"The press Yazoo were receiving were focused on the voice, This obviously was about trends."
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Personal Development
"The press should be not only a collective propagandist and a collective agitator, but also a collective organizer of the masses."
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Personal Development
"To the press alone, chequered as it is with abuses, the world is indebted for all the triumphs which have been gained by reason and humanity over error and oppression."
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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
Birthday
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
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