"With all due respect, if you're forty-three, then I'm a fetus."

Humor, Aging, Respect, Identity

16

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"With all due respect, if you're forty-three, then I'm a fetus."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by David Levithan

"There has to be a moment at the beginning where you wonder whether you're in love with the person or in love with the feeling of love itself. If the moment doesn't pass, that's it-you're done. And if the moment does pass, it never goes that far. It stands in the distance, ready for whenever you want it back. Sometimes it's even there when you thought you were searching for something else, like an escape route, or your lovers' face."

Love

"You don't know me. You know one me, just like I know one you. And you can't know every me, and I can't know every you."

Identity

"Here's what I think. We all want someone to build a fort with. We want somebody to swap crayons with and play hide-and-seek with and live out imaginary stories with. We start out getting that from our family. Then we get it from our friends. And then, for whatever reasons, we get it in our heads that we need to get that feeling- that intimacy- from a single someone else. We call if growing up. But really, when you take sex out of it, what we want is a companion. And we make that so damn hard to find."

Relationship

"You'd think that silence would be peaceful. but really, it's painful."

Emotion

"I tried to shut myself down completely, put up my best screensaver personality to coast through the day. I didn't want to see her. I was desperate to see her. I wanted to hold it together. I wanted to melt down right at her feet and scream, Look what you've done to me."

Emotion

"LYNDA (TO TINY):Look forward to the momentwhen it falls apart.Look forward to themomentwhen you mustrearrange yourheart.It might feel like theend of the world-but it's the beginning of yourart."

Emotion

"I am jealous of anyone who can make other people care so much."

Emotion

"You can find sorrow in the arithmetic, and you can find a bittersweet hope."

Emotion

"That's what it felt like - that if I let a little of the hurt out, it would keep pouring out until I was a deflated balloon of a person, with a big monster of hurt in front of me."

Emotion

"O Lord, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of doubt, at least let mewear a Walkman..."

Spiritual