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"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
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"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
"A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart."
"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."
"To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it."
Explore more quotes by George Burns
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it."
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."
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