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"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"
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"Many men are contemptuous of riches; few can give them away."
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Personal Development

"Men exist for the sake of one another."
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Personal Development

"When men come to like a sea-life, they are not fit to live on land."
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Personal Development

"A man should be upright, not be kept upright."
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Personal Development

"There are certainly not so many men of large fortune in the world, as there are pretty women to deserve them."
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Personal Development

"In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."
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Personal Development

"Let no such man be trusted."
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Personal Development

"I have found men to be more kind than I expected, and less just."
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Personal Development

"When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind."
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Personal Development

"We must conceive of this whole universe as one commonwealth of which both gods and men are members."
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"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
Worth


"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"
Time


"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
Love


"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Wife


"My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash."
Car


"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Drink


"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
Money


"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
Man


"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
Mother


"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
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