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"Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end."
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"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."
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Personal Development
"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."
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Personal Development
"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."
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Personal Development
"Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret."
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Personal Development
"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."
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Personal Development
"Marriage is a million piece puzzle, a pristine and exciting pursuit at the beginning that gradually becomes a daunting task, usually more challenging than anticipated. It is only those truly committed to solving that puzzle who witness in the end the miraculous outcome of every tiny piece laid out and pressed together in an inspiring and envious creation-a treasure only time, resoluteness, and perseverance could create."
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Personal Development
"Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage."
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Personal Development
"Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage."
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Personal Development
"What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married."
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Personal Development
"Any good marriage is secret territory, a necessary white space on society's map. What others don't know about it is what makes it yours."
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Personal Development
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"You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you."
Authority
"I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet."
Peace
"Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after."
Heartbreak
"Trust is important to any relationship and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked."
Trust
"Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either."
Aging
"You don't need to be smarter, you just need dumber friends."
Humor
"Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier."
Humor
"Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies."
Friendship
"It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood."
Honesty
"In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose."
Harmony
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