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"My greatest thrill was the day Mad magazine spoofed 'Ghost.'"
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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"But in terms of satire and comedy, our biggest and earliest influence was Mad magazine."
Comedy
"My greatest thrill was the day Mad magazine spoofed 'Ghost.'"
Humor
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