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"You would compliment a coxcomb doing a good act, but you would not praise an angel."
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"It is not easy to find someone your size once the Freshman Fifteen turns to the Sophomore Forty or the Senior Sixty. Even when, through some miracle of self-restraint and bulimia, college girls managed to continue to have feminine bodies, so many of these tacky sluts have never heard word one about what fashion entails."
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Personal Development

"Not every dog that barks, bites."
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Personal Development

"There is, after all, no moral difference between the bigot and the tolerator. They are from case to case positive or negative. One man is bigoted because he was given the sword of truth, another because he is angered in thoughtlessness; then, one man is tolerant because he was given the flag of peace, another because he is cowardly and wishes to hide all guilt."
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Personal Development

"Never judge the deeds of a starving man while you're on a full tummy."
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Personal Development

"One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer."
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Personal Development

"Some of the people who hate me love some of the sentences that I have written, until they get to the name of the person to whom the sentences are attributed."
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Personal Development

"Be less of a judge and you will be surprised that when you become a witness, you have become a mystic."
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Personal Development

"Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out."
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Personal Development

"People who smoke would have probably been regarded as fools or insane, if only a percentage of people who smoke smoked."
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"I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him."
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"Proportion is almost impossible to human beings. There is no one who does not exaggerate."
Morality

"There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right; and, again, making all crime mean and ugly."
Justice

"For poetry was all written before time was, and whenever we are so finely organized that we can penetrate into that region where the air is music, we hear those primal warblings and attempt to write them down, but we lose ever and anon a word or a verse and substitute something of our own, and thus miswrite the poem. The men of more delicate ear write down these cadences more faithfully, and these transcripts, though imperfect, become the songs of the nations."
Art

"Extremes meet and there is no better example than the naughtiness of humility."
Morality

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."
Time

"It has come to be practically a sort of rule in literature that a man having once shown himself capable of original writing is entitled thenceforth to steal from the writings of others at discretion."
Philosophy

"Hitch your wagon to a star."
Inspirational

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying."
Perception

"Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man."
Happiness

"There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes."
Society
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