"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

Mother, Ugly

65

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Mother, Blessing, Love

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

Mother, Girls, Miracles, Ugly

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

George Farquhar, Irish Dramatist

Mother, Invention, Necessity

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

Groucho Marx, American Comedian

Mother, Children

"I told my mother at about the seventh year of therapy that I had been abused sexually by my father, and she hung up the phone on me."

Anne Heche, American Actress

Mother, Father, Therapy

"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

Frank Pittman, American Psychiatrist

Mother,

"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

Mackenzie Astin, American Actor

Mother, Brother, Fun, Old

"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

Phyllis Diller, American Comedian

Mother, Pain

"My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material."

Jerry Stiller, American Comedian

Mother, Father, Fighting

"My father was always telling himself no one was perfect, not even my mother."

Broderick Crawford, American Actor

Mother, Father

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Wife

"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."

Time

"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."

Control

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

Argument

"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

Wife

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

Time

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."

Wife

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

Being

"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

Wife

"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

Home