"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

Mother, Ugly

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"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

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"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

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"I know Mother named me after a railroad man, but it's too late now, I'm afraid. Much, much too late."

Hoagy Carmichael, American Composer

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"I want to thank my mother and my father for teaching me to have a dream. You are seeing my dream come true."

Louise Fletcher, American Actress

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"My mother, Dorothy Watson, had met my father in a Greek class at Northwestern University."

James Cronin, American Physicist

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"With each piece I've completed I have worked to make it intact, and each of them has been an equal high. It's like children. A mother refuses to pick out one as a favorite, and I can't do any better with the dances."

Twyla Tharp, American Dancer

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"My mother always wanted me to be glamorous. When I thought about that, it really fired me up, and once I lost all those pounds, I started to feel really good about myself."

Etta James, American Musician

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"My mother was a jazz fanatic and she wanted me to play the piano so I could play jazz tunes. I wish I had learned but I was too busy getting into trouble!"

Etta James, American Musician

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"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."

Lenny Kravitz, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

Wife

"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."

Fight

"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

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"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

Dying

"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."

Favorite

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

Argument

"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

Home

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

Parents

"With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!"

Sex

"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."

Luck