"I don't have a very quick sense of humor."

Humor, Quick, Sense

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"I don't have a very quick sense of humor."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Florenz Ziegfeld

"They all hope I will go broke and I wouldn't like to cause them displeasure."

Hope

"Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody."

Funny

"Beauty, of course, is the most important requirement and the paramount asset of the applicant."

Beauty

"To illustrate what I mean, an apt dancer may be in thorough unison with the others in that particular group, and at the same time reveal a difference in dancing temperament, rhythm or technique; she may phrase, accentuate or actually interpret differently."

Time

"Let us hope that for many it does mean the end of trouble so far as earning a livelihood is concerned, that it means happy and comfortable home living honestly earned. But there are other troubles ahead for her, and plenty of hard work."

Home

"Yes, there is plenty of hard work for them in addition to that which they do when they appear, smiling and happy, when the curtain goes up. Giving a performance is the least of their worries."

Work

"And, I may add, from what totally unexpected sources come many of those who from the comparatively modest beginning in the chorus rise to the heights of really great achievement in the theatrical profession."

Achievement

"But it is only through constant, faithful endeavor by the girl herself that the goal eventually is reached."

Goal

"It is the task of several months and it is a fact that a girl, either while rehearsing or actually playing, may be training for some character or feature in some future production not yet definitely fixed even in my own mind."

Character

"How little the public realizes what a girl must go through before she finally appears before the spotlight that is thrown upon the stage."

Public