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Jeff Foxworthy

"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"

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"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Jeff Foxworthy
"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
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"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
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"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
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"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
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"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
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"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
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"There's no down time any more."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
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