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"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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"I read some, and then visited with people involved in this curious, exciting and somewhat misunderstood sub-culture. I met with a fang maker, who offered to fit me for an exquisite pair."
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Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school."
"I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods."
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."
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