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"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
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"You are whatever you shall leave behind when you leave life!"

"Fair... You'd be amazed how often I hear that word, Frank Zhang,and how meaningless it is. Is it fair your life will burn so short and bright? Was it fair when I guided your mother to the Underworld? No, not fair. And yet it was her time. There is no fairness in Death. If you free me, I will do my duty."

"To be closed as a person, it's not bad if you know that when this two rules, playing by your rules doesn't mean that you won't end up in jail, security why?We both know that everyone dies... it really doesn't matter who is first... in the end all die!"

"One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation."

"Death is the ultimate cessation of the individual Self."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley

"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."

"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."

"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."

"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."

"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."

"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."
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