"You are the capital U in Unhelpful."

Humor, Identity, Self, Observation

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

Explore more quotes by Marissa Meyer

"But was the woman's death the tragedy, or her life?"

Tragedy

"There was an edge to his expression, like he didn't trust anyone who was more attractive than he was."

Insecurity

"Her satellite made one full orbit around Planet Earth every sixteen hours. It was a prison that came with an endlessly breathtaking view- vast blue oceans and swirling clouds and sunrises that set half the world on fire."

Nature

"Levana's face was fiercely beautiful. Breathtaking in her viciousness."

Villainy

"The Snow White the midnight the moon tales of the mechanics."

Storytelling

"Besides, if you are who you claim to be, that makes you my true queen. Therefore, you have my loyalty."

Loyalty

"This is Winter," said Scarlet. "Princess Winter."Thorne guffawed and pushed a hand into his hair. "Are we running a boardinghouse for misplaced royalty around here, or what?"

Literature

"It was made out to be some kind of honor, giving your life for the good of humanity, but it was really just a reminder that cyborgs were not like everyone else."

Humanity

"What? Really? And I thought I was just emotionally withdrawn. She pulled her feet up, hugging her knees. "I'm also incapable going to be your next brilliant observation."

Emotion

"I think that when every person in this room looks at Ze'ev and Scarlet, they don't see a Lunar and an Earthen. We don't see an agenda, or two people trying to make a statement. I think we see two people who were lucky enough to find each other in this vast universe, and they weren't going to let any boundaries of distance or race or even physiological tampering get in the way of a happy life together."

Relationship