"A balanced dieT to make you die with a tea, consists of holding two bags of cookies on each hand and a voracious hunger to consume."

Humor, Food, Observation, Life

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"A balanced dieT to make you die with a tea, consists of holding two bags of cookies on each hand and a voracious hunger to consume."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

Explore more quotes by Ana Claudia Antunes

"Never say never or it becomes a vice, and there you have it, you just did it twice."

Advice, Motivational, Perseverance, Warning, Life

"We should learn to smile as we fall, So much so as when we have it all."

Happiness, Life, Joy, Truth

"The weakest ones are the wickedest cruel When the strongest ones in gentleness rule!"

Character, Strength, Kindness, Power, Morality

"Being on Facebook too much in a row is like playing chess in a black hole. You never know if the next move will lead you to a checkmate or a mate checked."

Technology, Observation, Uncertainty, Strategy

"Ballet shoes... I cannot play with them like they're toys. But when the music is playing they get deep on my toes."

Art, Ballet, Discipline, Music

"This book's like black holes. It really engulfes you whole."

Literature, Books, Imagination, Depth, Curiosity

"S:uch is Heaven on Earth, in all landA:s the sun brightens to the moon N:ails the Creation in a palm of a hand, D:ancing IT makes the desert bloom."

Spiritual, Heaven, Creation, Observation, Beauty

"It's not the weather that's bad or good, it's whether you have good or bad mood. It's cloudy and cold, I feel happy and bold, As the storm unfolds, I turn silver in gold!"

Mindset, Mood, Perception, Weather, Emotion

"I tried to blow a yellow jacket out and now it's wearing a bow tie in its mouth."

Humor, Observation, Playfulness, Animals

"We may travel the world over to find a good spot,But if we are blind to search within, we find it not."

Life, Travel, Self, Reflection, Happiness