"Take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool..."

Satire, Behavior, Observation, Absurdity

11

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"Take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool..."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Russia, Denial, Irony, Humor

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

Fakeer Ishavardas, Indian Spiritual Leader

Satire, Religion, Critique, Faith

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Satire, Technology, Isolation, Reality, Critique

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

Santosh Kalwar, Nepalese Poet

Satire, Happiness, Business, Irony, Truth

"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Satire, Religion, Irony, Humor

"It is difficult not to write satire."

Juvenal, Roman Poet

Satire,

"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."

Alain de Botton, English Writer

Satire, Religion, Office, Society, Irony

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

George Byron, Scottish Poet

Satire, Chivalry, Country, Right, Spain

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Weather, Irony, Speech, Fear

"Punctuality is the thief of time."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Time, Loss, Truth, Irony

Explore more quotes by Jonathan Swift

"The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes."

Wisdom

"I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning."

Achievement

"There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake."

Mistake

"Judges... are picked out from the most dextrous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and having been biased all their lives against truth or equity, are under such a fatal necessity of favoring fraud, perjury and oppression, that I have known several of them to refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty by doing any thing unbecoming their nature in office."

Law

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

Nothing

"It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind."

Care

"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

Wit

"And he gave it for his opinion that whoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before would deserve better of mankind and do more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together."

Contribution

"I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution."

Religion

"They say fingers were made before forks and hands before knives."

Tradition