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"Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so."
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"The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today."
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Personal Development
"Silver's sweet and gold's our mother, but once you're dead they're worth less than that last shit you take as you lie dying."
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Personal Development
"I think Bonzo died. I dreamed about it last night. I remembered the way he looked after I jammed his face with my head. I think I must have pushed his nose back into his brain. The blood was coming out of his eyes. I think he was dead right then."
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Personal Development
"Life has an end. We are all on a transit."
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Personal Development
"You don't need a sad soul to feel the beauty of a dead graveJust stay with the pale moonwhen darkness wants the night to be brave."
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Personal Development
"To die is different from what anyone supposed, and luckier."
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Personal Development
"Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left?.. He would not wither. He would not be ashamed of dying."
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Personal Development
"Tombstones covered the dale, the smooth marble surfaces bright. She had spent days here as a teenager, though not out of any awareness of mortality. Like every adolescent, she intended to live forever."
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Personal Development
"When we're all gone at last then there'll be nobody here but death and his days will be numbered too. He'll be out in the road there with nothing to do and nobody to do it to. He'll say: where did everybody go? And that's how it will be. What's wrong with that?"
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Personal Development
"Rest in Peace?' Why that phrase? That's the most ridiculous phrase I've ever heard! You die, and they say 'Rest in Peace!'. Why would one need to 'rest' when they're dead?! I spent thousands of years of world history resting. While Agamemnon was leading his ships to Troy, I was resting. While Ovid was seducing women at the chariot races, I was resting. While Jeanne d'Arc was hallucinating, I was resting. I wait until airplanes are scuttling across the sky to burst out onto the scene, and I'm only going to be here for a short while, so when I die, I certainly won't need to rest again! Not while more adventures of the same kind are going on."
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"It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood."
Honesty
"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."
Aging
"Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's."
Envy
"In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision."
Risk
"Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair."
Temptation
"Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt."
Intelligence
"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."
Parenting
"I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam."
Humor
"Generally, men are superior in the areas of heavy lifting, where there's a past only by pachyderms and building cranes. Beyond that, I believe any right-thinking thinking will see that women have the indisputable advantage."
Equality
"There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers."
Loyalty
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