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"My fingers are blistered and they smell like lighter fluid- like burnt tin foil and rusted silverware. Quick question: Is it still considered heroin chic if I'm actually using heroin? No? Whatever."
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"The idea that the creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time. ... Substance abusing writers are just substance abusers - common garden variety drunks and druggies, in other words. Any claims that the drugs and alcohol are necessary to dull a finer sensibility are just the usual self-serving bullshit. I've heard alcoholic snowplow drivers make the same claim, that they drink to still the demons."

"I dye my jeans jet black once a week, but they never seem dark enough. I bleach my hair bright white twice a month but it never seems light enough. I drink two and a half bottles of champagne every night but I never seem drunk enough. And I know I'm not high enough until someone grabs my face to check my vision to see if I'm still responsive- And even then, I'm thinking to myself that I should probably do one more line, you know, just to be safe."

"I knew that I no longer wanted to take junk. If I could have made one decision, it would have been no more junk, ever, but when it came to the process of quitting I did not have the drive. It gave me a terrible feeling of helplessness to watch myself break every schedule I set up, as though I did not have control over my actions."

"Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction."
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"And then he's somewhere inside of me, each thrust rattling my ribcage like a bottle of pills. I'm somewhere outside of myself, thinking about lust- about my slutty white sheets and all the men who like to hide in them."

"If I told you that I imagine love to be a two-way mirror, which side of the mirror would you imagine me standing on?"

"Then I drop to my knees because I can't find a decent enough reason not to, because reluctance rarely stands a chance against repeated behavior."

"We skip school and we ditch chores. We haunt shopping malls and grocery stores. House parties grow dull, but Amy's boyfriend is a dealer and we find ways to pass the time."

"I think it's imperative that we continue confusing light with meaning. That's how the human race evolves. Someone sees a light, names it God, goes toward it, goes up in flames. Same goes for moths. We're all animals. There's nothing revolutionary about evolution. The process itself relies solely on stupidity. We fuck up in the hopes that future fuckups will learn from us."

"I know it sounds a bit trite, but I really do get everything I want now. They say life is a game, and I guess I might agree if the stakes were a little higher, but it's just so easy to fall into a cycle. I get bored."

"You preach cleanliness,so I try to keep my room clean,but I feel no closer to God, and I guess that's okaybecause he doesn't knowwho he's fucking with anyway."

"I've always wanted to be the sort of boy who does the right thing without having to think about it first, the kind of boy who makes his bed every morning and wears his mouth like a vase for words of kindness and simplicity. My agents keep telling me I'm too bruised to play the part. They have no idea how hard it is to make my bed when I'm constantly sleeping in yours, how difficult it is to keep my body from bruising when I'm almost always on my knees, making room in my vase for you, and watching while you text all the boys who are up for the role."
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