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"I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development

"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
Friendship

"As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket."
Radical

"I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times."
Woman

"They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India."
Woman

"Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one."
Woman

"We really got a lot of very conservative gay people. You could look at the figures from the last election and realize that a third of the gay movement voted Republican."
People

"Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefore more accessible for women. But the very form of stand-up is masculine."
Woman

"Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it."
Humor

"When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out."
Brother

"I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir."
Gay
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