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"I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material."
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"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."
"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
Explore more quotes by Kate Clinton
"I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times."
"I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ."
"My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things."
"Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefore more accessible for women. But the very form of stand-up is masculine."
"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
"We really got a lot of very conservative gay people. You could look at the figures from the last election and realize that a third of the gay movement voted Republican."
"I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me."
"They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India."
"When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out."
"As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket."
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